This week, Vice President George H.W. Bush’s comments “have gone beyond decency,” according to Geraldine Ferraro’s campaign manager.
I don't know if they are using that tone because Mrs. Ferraro is a woman or an Italian-American or a person who rose from humble origins. In any case, they ought to stop immediately and apologize. The comments are very insulting. — Campaign Manager John Sasso, NYT 10/14/1984
Walter Mondale says that Bush’s comment in question was clearly an effort to “avoid taking Geraldine Ferraro seriously as a candidate for the Vice Presidency.”
In a half-page article, the NYT called it a “locker room vulgarity.” Bush himself has defended the statement as an “old Texas football expression.”
Are you ready to read the quote? The crass vulgarity? Buckle up! Trigger warning - it’s a statement that crashed through our early-80’s boundary for decency and norms. And yes, it involves a body part. Here goes:
In a private conversation with a longshoreman in New Jersey, Vice President Bush was caught by a hot mic. He was talking about the previous night’s VP debate, the first of his campaign. And he said….he actually said…are you ready?…
We tried to kick a little ass last night… - George H.W. Bush
Kick a little ass?! My goodness. My stars!! A-S-S? George Senior always seemed like such a nice guy.
Twenty-one years later, George’s nephew Billy would also get caught on a hot mic. He was riding along with another national candidate in a bus. Billy was heard laughing and lightly condoning that candidate’s “locker room” vulgarity about women.
That candidate explained that his star power allowed him to do a particular something to women, a move that he evidently thought was just great, for celebrities at least.
BTW, is that really a “move?” It’s a new one for me. He made it sound like a first move, maybe even a surprise(!) move. In his mind, how does that even work in an allegedly OK way? I mean choreographically. Are you both standing up? Is it like, a handshake or something?
ANYWAY, eleven more years after that, that hot mic tape was released, just one month before that candidate’s national election. He won it anyway (her emails!) And Billy? Billy promptly got fired for it.
Today, eight years after THAT, that candidate is a candidate again! He doubled down on his comments, seen here in a 2022 deposition for a case where he was accused of doing his Move - yes, that precise move! - on an unwilling person for real. He was asked about the MOVE:
CANDIDATE: Well, historically, that's true with stars
ATTORNEY: It's true with stars that they can [make the Move]?
CANDIDATE: Well, if you look over the last million years, I guess that's been largely true. Not always, but largely true. Unfortunately. Or fortunately.
Fortunately?? You can draw your own cultural acceptability map from “kick some ass” to bragging about the Move. I recommend a small piece of paper.
In better news for Uncle George this week, it looks like he may be getting a new BFF in the Middle East. A leader of a nation said this week that he’s ready to rekindle positive relations with the USA.
Reagan sent a special envoy to meet with our new friend in person, sort of an olive branch. They met in Baghdad. The special envoy was named Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld told the guy that even though we knew he was using chemical weapons on his own people, we wouldn’t let that stop us from having a friendly diplomatic relationship. Because Iran and stuff.
Here’s Rumsfeld with our new friend, Saddam Hussein, in 1983:
It will go great!
There’s a Top Ten song this week that’s likely familiar to you. “Drive” by The Cars wasn’t a number one, it peaked at #3, but it still carries an iconic Eighties-ness in its pulse as an electronic ballad.
The video made an impression. It starred Paulina Porizkova, a Czech supermodel. She portrayed a troubled young woman that we mostly see flailing, rocking, and flipping through emotions in what appears to be a mental institution.
Earlier that year, Porizkova had made “history” as the first Eastern European woman to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition.
As a kid before the internet, unless you had sneaky access to a Playboy stash, SI in February may have been the only place you could see breasts. Or, say, beads of sweat clinging to light downy-soft subnavel hairs. See, it’s sports, so it’s OK. Sports ladies!
As Gen X did puberty, the SI Swimsuit edition got thicker and glossier. The cover models became stars, and I can associate them with each phase of my emerging bikini awareness. Cover models from 1979-1988:
3rd, 4th, and 5th grade: Christie Brinkley
6th grade: Carol Alt
7th grade: Cheryl Tiegs
8th and 9th grade: Paulina Porizkova
10th, 11th, and 12th grade: Elle Macpherson
Anyway…
In the video, Porizkova argues with Ric Ocasek. They met on the set. He was 40 and married. She was 19. They hooked up. A few years later, Ocasek divorced his wife of 17 years and married Paulina. Yes, that supermodel and that super weird looking guy!
28 years later, they split up, but still lived in the same house. Ocasek got sick. One day in 2019 Paulina found Rick dead at their house. He was 75. Only later did Paulina discover that Rick had disinherited her completely, because “she abandoned me.”
That was a bummer, but don’t worry. She’s fine now. She’s only 58! These magazine covers are all from 2023, per her own Instagram post. She wrote a memoir. She’s been writing and talking about how to defeat aging, making millions of other women in their 50s feel…horrible probably?
Family Ties S3E5: Keaton and Son
Alex needs a job I guess
ALEX is in the kitchen, wearing a navy 3-piece suit. He had a job interview at a bank. (Yes, he’s still a college student.) He got rejected. MALLORY suggests that he work with Dad, who is a program director at the local PBS station. Alex visibly shudders at the “whole concept of nonprofit”.
ALEX: Mallory, I’m learning how to be a captain of industry, a power broker, a mover and a shaker. Dad is a thoughtful, sensitive, caring man. I could pick up some bad habits from him.
But after another rejection on the phone, Alex caves and tells DAD that he’ll take the PBS job. Dad is completely goofy with pride and excitement.
New kid at the station
We’re in DAD’s small and somewhat cheap nonprofit-looking office. Two coworkers, DORIS (Roz from Night Court) and FRED, are at the conference table. Dad introduces ALEX as a new production assistant. He can’t stop talking about how great Alex is.
They cope.
Another coworker, RICHARD (‘Radio Operator’ from Spaceballs), comes in late. He’s sloppy and unengaged.
Alex takes a private phone call. It’s the bank. Alex hears that their new hire got pneumonia and had to quit. Alex silently pumps his fist and mouths “yesss.” A bank job is available after all.
Dad is insanely proud
We’re back home. ALEX is struggling. He has his dream opportunity now, but DAD is still grinning and giddy. He tries to get Alex to sing the station’s call letter jingle “W-K-S!”
Dad makes it even worse, He gifts Alex a gold desk nameplate. Alex doesn’t have a desk, but Dad says “just carry it around with you!” Dad is practically breathless, so many teeth in his smile.
Alex is going to quit.
Richard sucks
ALEX walks into DAD’s office the next day. He greets Dad and hands him a letter to inform him he is quitting (yes, a letter.)
Suddenly, a work crisis erupts. Coworkers pour into Dad’s office. A big project has to air tomorrow and RICHARD hasn’t even started editing it! They’ll have to stay all night. Dad pockets the letter unread.
Alex tells Dad he’s going to stay and help.
We cut to late night. Ties askew, sleeves rolled up. They have to finish by 6 AM. Dad is working the film editing machine (that’s right, they have to edit analog film) Alex is helping with narrative ideas and music.
DORIS and Alex have a moment alone. Doris tells him that his dad is the best she’s ever worked with, and that he talks about Alex all the time. Alex shows a glimmer of pride.
I can explain this letter
DAD and ALEX stumble home at sunrise, laughing, arms around each other, both wearing WKS caps. Mission accomplished. They’re relieved and proud.
Dad takes his jacket off. He finally sees Alex’s resignation letter from before. He reads it. Dad is wistful. He apologizes to Alex for pushing so hard.
ALEX: When I was a little kid, you’d always go off to work. I never really knew or understood — or even cared what you did. I lied to the other kids. I told them you were a cowboy! I’m beginning to see some of the appeal now. You’re great at what you do.
Is he staying? Taking the bank job? We don’t find out today. We may never know! But everything is just fine again. They hug.