Hill Street Blues, S1 E13 SEASON FINALE (sort of): Part Two, The Episode Summary
Note: Hi friends! We have reached the original Season One finale of Hill Street Blues.
This show had lousy ratings in its first season. Out of 96 TV shows, it finished #87. But it was a critical smash. So much so that the producers (and the network), in mid-season, decided to append an extra chapter to S1, to air during “sweeps week,” (which I assume isn’t a thing anymore) in May 1981. It was also renewed for Season Two, which is pretty remarkable with that ratings performance.
The appendage was two episodes, two hours each. It had a brand new story arc and some new actors queued up for Season Two, including Ed Marinaro, former Cornell running back and runner-up for the Heisman Trophy(!)
I decided that since the story arc was new and there was a 2-month gap, I’m just gonna call this one the final episode for our journey.
I’m going to post one more history wrap-up that includes the assassination attempt, otherwise I feel like I’m really leaving Reagan hanging.
Hill Street Blues, S1 E13: Fecund Hand Rose
Previously: Remember Det. Macafee, the corrupt cop from early in the season that tried to trap LaRue? He dangled some bribe money in front of LaRue and then double-crossed him. He lied about everything to a panel, in front of Frank, and was nabbed.
Also, remember how Lt. Esterhaus is dating two women, the police station decorator and widow Grace, and the apparently high school(?) student Cindy? Well, Phil has decided to marry….Cindy. Today.
Roll Call
Today the male cops in the room are clearly suffering. Last night was PHIL’s bachelor party and they all have pounding hangovers this morning. Phil seems ecstatic. He gives the crew thanks for the party, and reminds everyone to attend his wedding to Cindy this evening.
Be there, Phil
A visitor shows up in dark glasses, a trench coat, and a sour expression. It’s GRACE GARDNER, Phil’s recently jilted girlfriend.
She walks over to Phil. She’s upset. She tells him to meet her downstairs at 12:30. “Be there” she says.
State’s witness
FRANK and RAY are in a seedy hotel room full of busy suited cops. The Deputy DA FITZGERALD and the police commander are there. Frank’s been invited to a secret sting operation.
The bad news - MACAFEE is also there, he’s turned state’s witness. He and Frank exchange seething glares. Macafee was facing four felony convictions for corruption, and he flipped to become an informant on the mafia and police payoffs. The police chief wants Frank’s precinct to provide protection for Macafee.
Throughout the episode we visit the safe house. Packed with resentful cops, busy and smelly. Macafee is distraught and paranoid, worried he’s going to be found and killed. He ransacks his room looking for evidence. He causes such a fuss that onlookers, and then the media, close in on the seedy hotel. So they have to relocate him.
Frank is there, wants to hurry him out via the alley. We get a rushed Lee Harvey Oswald type perp walk to a car. Shots suddenly ring out, all the cops dive for cover. Macafee is OK. But now Frank is pretty pissed that his guys were put in this situation. They never find the shooter.
So who leaked the location? Frank has an idea. He confronts the DA Fitzgerald at the hospital, who clearly wants to blow him off and is very uncomfortable. We have never seen Frank this agitated, this vehemently angry. But, of course, still restrained and in control. The scene is over the shoulder shot, very close on faces. Frank’s voice never raises but his eyes are aflame:
FRANK: I can’t help thinking about you and former detective Macafee, whose testimony is supposed to turn this town upside-down. As good as that testimony might be all by itself, nothing adds credibility quite like an attempted hit. Don't you agree?
FITZGERALD: Exactly what are you insinuating?
FRANK: I’m not insinuating anything. It’s just one officer of the Court, Mr. Prosecutor, thinking out loud to another officer of the Court, who comes out of the hotel fiasco with about twice the case he had when he went in. I call that fortune. Good fortune.
FITZGERALD: [smug] You know Captain, I think that you think I may have engineered this whole thing.
FRANK: Well, I haven’t exactly said that, have I? But then again, it’s not too hard. All it takes is a casual word dropped someplace, and then casually waiting to see what happens…I will NOT have my people needlessly endangered….Nobody misuses my people and walks away.
Cat burglar (litter)
BELKER collared a “cat burglar” HEIDEL. Strangely, a dozen laughing cops are gathered around Belker’s desk, listening to Heidel joyfully recount some “alleged” hypothetical heists he has been a part of. People, including Belker, are asking questions, riveted like they’re listening to a crime seminar. He’s not confessing, he’s just entertaining.
Then his attorney shows up and shuts it down. It’s JOYCE. Belker tells her that Heidel swallowed some fancy rings he stole, so now they’re waiting to see “what comes down the pike.” Heidel touches Joyce’s knee and starts hitting on her.
Belker gets a plastic pail for Heidel to eventually evacuate into under supervision. Later on he waives the right to have Joyce watch him poop along with Belker. He takes the bucket into the bathroom. They get the rings.
Ohhh, Grace
Phil hesitantly goes downstairs to meet privately with Grace. She’s still trench coated, agitated, and sad. Phil explains that Marv’s death made him want kids very much. Cindy can give him children, he says. Grace says “I don’t doubt your sincerity.”
But she has another proposal that freaks Phil out completely.
GRACE: Let’s get to the point. [Leans in] Babies or not, this marriage is no reason not to fulfill our true erotic potential
PHIL: [stunned and alarmed] Grace, am I reading you right. I couldn’t. Oh no. Please, no. Out of the question
GRACE: [taking Phil’s hands] Listen to me. We have already achieved a level of intimacy most couples only imagine. Let’s not hang up the gloves. Not yet. Not now.
PHIL: Ohhh, Grace
GRACE: [breathing heavily, massaging his thighs] We’ve only just begun to *scratch* our potential. We could be at my place in 20 minutes. [whispering] I’ll pop the lotion into the microwave.
PHIL: [standing, startled] Grace!! I’m an old fashioned man with old fashioned principles! You’re making me nuts!
GRACE: [standing] And you’re my all-time squeeze and that makes me nuts
PHIL: Grace, I’m getting married in five hours! Please get out of here.
GRACE: Sure, Phil. Just remember this..
She opens her trench coat to show Phil her full naked body. Phil is aghast, staring down at her.
GRACE: It’ll always have your name on it
She closes the coat and leaves. Phil is pretty messed up. We have closed the loop on a classic trope of human suffering we’ve known since Greek tragedies: Children? Or Sex?
The nuptials
Phil is in the wings with CINDY’S DAD and BROTHER. He finds out LARUE, the ring-bearer, has left the ring at home, miles away.
But Belker now has a ring, doesn’t he! They’re going to use the Heidel ring for the ceremony. The Dad asks if the ring is “hot,” and Belker says “more like body temperature.”
We get the whole wedding procession thing. We finally meet his 18 year old fiancee, though she has no lines.
Grace is on the side aisle, in sight of Phil at the altar as the priest speaks. She pulls her wrap down to reveal a backless dress, looking all sexy. Phil is clearly distracted. He’s sweating. Cindy notices.
At the “I do” moment, Phil says “I..” and then collapses. It’s over. Grace slips out. She’s smiling.
Secret love
We end in the hotel bedroom with Joyce and Frank that night, talking about Phil. Phil is taking 2 weeks off for “soul searching.” Joyce wants to have sex. She says “some good kinky fun” But Frank is distracted. He’s tired of having a secret relationship. Remember, Joyce couldn’t be Frank’s date at Phils wedding. Or anywhere:
FRANK: What would you say to a proposal of marriage?
JOYCE: [thoughtful] I’d say I love you very much…but marriage at this time would not be in my best interest…
Joyce is worried that coming out would bring serious conflict of interest charges. She’s concerned about the career effect:
JOYCE: God, you sound like the rest of them. You think that because I’m a woman, what I do is intrinsically less important than what YOU do.
They have a loving but real fight. It gets sort of playful and we end it right there.
Some accolades:
HSB will have seven seasons, 126 episodes. There was plenty of cast turnover, and the plot lost its way here and there.
It never got higher than #23 in ratings for a season
It shares the record for most Outstanding Drama Emmy Awards (four), with Mad Men, LA Law, West Wing, and Game of Thrones. It got 98 total nominations.
In 1982, ALL FIVE of the Best Supporting Actor Emmy nominees were from HSB
Daniel Travanti (Frank) grew up in Kenosha, Wisconsin. His dad worked at the auto plant there. He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from UW-Madison. He was a football star. He won two Emmys for Frank. He was a recovering alcoholic IRL, which he confirmed in an interview in 1981 as this S1 was airing. The alcoholism was folded into his character, Frank’s struggle was written into the story.
Another little fact about my “Fay is back!” refrain. One reason that Fay may have had a ticket to every episode is that the actress, Barbara Bosson, was married to the show creator, Steven Bochco.
Betty Thomas, the 6-foot former Second City comic who played Officer Lucy Bates pretty far in the background in Season One, would establish a much stronger presence on the show, making Sergeant. In fact, she’s the only actor to have been a cast member start to finish. She won an Emmy for her role. She went on to direct films, including John Tucker Must Die, 28 Days, Dr. Doolittle, The Brady Bunch Movie, and Howard Stern biopic Private Parts.
Alas, in Season Four, Michael Conrad (Sgt Phil Esterhaus) died of cancer at 58. They wrote his death into the show mid-season. And if there’s any small consolation about this sadness for you readers: Phil was written to have died while having sex with Grace…
**Thanks everyone for joining me on a ride through Hill Street!**
As one TV writer wrote about the show’s influence:
“If you come to see it for the first time after a lifetime of watching the copies, it could be at risk of playing like a bundle of clichés—even though it invented those clichés.” - Alan Sepinwall
The Pioneer Paradox.